Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, today I ask for your sincerest sympathies. Why, you might ask? Because I need to give a fully researched presentation on cutout animation, and when googling across the internet in hope of inspiring sources on the grand history and importance of such an art form, the best it can offer is the visual equivalent of a half-hearted fart sound.
So, because I'm bored and in desperate need of some productive procrastination (and also because I need to prove to my tutor I did do research so that my grade doesn't also represent a fart sound), I am going to share with you some of my recent failures in research. For starters, let's turn to every lazy student's number one friend when working from home...
Wikipedia
Ahh Wikipedia, truly the choice homepage for any second-rate academic. But seriously, as much as we all like to put on a good show in front of others and check other sites, in the privacy of our homes we all just end up here right? I don't care if my information is properly sourced or even correct. If there's one thing society has taught me, it's that as long as you present it with enough confidence, you can tell any lie you like and nobody will care enough to respond with anything beyond a half-smile. But what happens when immoral monsters like myself are finally failed? What happens...
when Wikipedia has barely anything to offer!?
I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? Sure, I've got a few lines at the top and then a list of stuff that has used it, but that's it. Look at the contents box. That's it. I've got a five minute presentation to give, that based off of this, will be a couple of sentences at the beginning and then a flashy montage of stuff off that list. Compare this to the Stop Motion animation page, which I KNOW someone else in the group has.
HOW IS THIS FAIR!? Look at what's going on there! Genuinely, the history section of that page is too long for me to even fit in one print screen. So here's an easier, more print-screenable comparison to make: the contents boxes.
In case you can't work it out, that's Cutout on the left and Stop Motion on the right. There is no such thing as equality in this poisionous world.
College Library
Okay, so if Wikipedia has failed me, I suppose I can take a drastic step and read words off something that isn't a screen. Where better to find such archaic printed relics than a library, and better than any library, the college library! It's like a normal library, only it takes out all the old-fashioned friendliness you find in regulars of real libraries, and replaces it with the terrifying teenage clique system best captured in the canteen scene from Mean Girls. But when I searched through their online catalogue, I was disappointed to find that I'd have to postpone my appointment with paranoia and social anxiety for another time.
Unbelievable. I've now tried two whole sources (while definitely not leaving my Google search and City Library search out due to them providing stronger results), and my limited success has led me to feel that perhaps I should just give up on this doomed dream and get a Distinction* anyway?
Yes, I definitely think this is how things should go.
*For those not in the BTEC know, that's the top grade possible for the presentation, which is definitely what I deserve for this blog post alone.
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